Though happiness is a highly sought-after state of being, it is difficult to pin down and measure — plus it’s a long-term process to achieve. But joy? It’s immediate and easily identifiable. Joy is when you unconsciously smile because you see a cute puppy or you shed a few tears while watching a video of a father on duty reuniting with his daughter. It is when you spot a rainbow after a storm or grab coffee with an old friend.
The capacity to experience joy is buried within us all. As children, joy used to run rampant throughout our lives, dictating our decisions and our reason for being.
Why else were we alive if not to build forts and play hopscotch? But the propensity to experience joy dissipates with age because we begin to realize that our actions now affect our outcomes later, therefore we spend a lot of time (often too much time) worried about tomorrow when all we really have is today.
Joy is about doing something right now for no reason other than momentary delight. What’s great, though, is that while joy is about the present moment, over time it can contribute to overall happiness.
We recently had an event all about joy with Ingrid Fetell Lee, author of the popular blog Aesthetics of Joy and the book Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Objects to Create Extraordinary Happiness. Ingrid’s work reveals how making small changes to physical surroundings in your life can bring you great joy. While auditing our own surroundings and the joy they bring us, it got us thinking: where did joy go and how can we bring it back?
"When we focus on happiness, we overlook joy.
When we focus on joy, happiness finds us."
- Ingrid Fetell Lee
In an interview with Ingrid, she referenced a middle school teacher who said that second grade is the age when boys begin to feel they need to stop sharing their emotions. One of those emotions is joy, and it’s being squashed out of boys at that impressionable age. Not only that, but expressing joy is typically looked at as a female trait, making it even more difficult for men to embrace. Ingrid said that in her experience, men have a harder time connecting with joy. In our patriarchal society, men come off as effeminate or weak if they express joy. Meanwhile for women, expressing joy can give off a youthful and unserious vibe.
In this article, Ingrid says that many small joys, particularly those enjoyed by women like flowers or home decor items, are seen markers of being superficial or self-indulgent. It’s almost like there’s a stigma around joy, as if by expressing it, you are not thinking about your future.
If accumulated joy leads to happiness over time, and if experiencing joy is a delightful feeling for everyone involved, then why not bring it back to the forefront of our culture? Ingrid’s Desire is to help others find ways to create more joy in their everyday lives. We love this idea, so we came up with a list of small ways to start changing the place joy holds in our world:
This list of ideas isn’t going to bring joy back to the forefront of our culture right away. But the hope is that we can enroll you — and you can, in turn, enroll others — into these ideas to normalize creating, identifying, and spreading joy.
To start, we challenge you to find a way to experience joy right now. If you’re stretched for time, maybe you can spare two seconds to look at #joyspotting.
Why do we care about joy? Joy is a feeling that too few of us (ourselves included) prioritize. We’ve talked about why businesses should consider incorporating joy into their brand as an empathetic way to enroll customers, but we also think it’s important on an individual level. Join us in trying to bring joy back to the forefront of our culture!